Between two worlds

Eight months, that is how long I have not been home, the longest time I have spent away from the place I know, and it definitely has given me a new look on life. This time apart in a new country has allowed me to reflect on myself, my values, points of views and so many cultural differences.

There is this freedom that Italians possess, freedom in speech, physical touch, and self-expression. Back home often I felt like I was under this magnifying glass, it would make me overthink my every action, what I wear or say. The more time I spend in Italy, the more I notice how judgmental we Latvians are to ourselves and to others. It is such a cultural thing that while being back in Latvia I did not really notice it, and, I think, most of the time we do not do it even on purpose, it is something that is deeply rooted in us and does not allow us to experience more freedom and peace within ourselves and our communities. The stereotype about Baltic people being somewhat cold is partially true but not in an unfriendly way, I think that we are actually very friendly, we just require more time to open up, however I believe that we are too restrained. Maybe it is something I particularly notice how physical touch is such a big part of every human interaction, just starting from the greeting ritual. It is so refreshing to see this openness between work colleagues, friends, family members, and even strangers. I find especially interesting the relationships between men and how normal it is to hug, kiss or call another man “bello” or ”carissimo”. I feel like I could witness something like that in Latvia only at a party, late at night when the drinks are coming to an end. People here are just more comfortable with their bodies, physical closeness and it is more normalized to express yourself however you want and most people would not take another look.

Although I really admire this freedom, at times it reaches a limit for me. In some way, when the freedom reaches the other end of the spectrum it can become selfish, in a sense that people do not consider others. They are small things that are easy to notice, and at first, you might think that it is a specific and unique case but then you start to notice the pattern and understand that it is a part of the culture. Most of the time I notice it in public spaces, such as the buses and the streets. The bus culture is so fascinating, how there are kids and teenagers yelling and disrupting peace of others, grown people throwing away trash on purpose on the floor, people putting their dirty shoes on the chairs, and others smoking during the rides. I feel like this is so normalized but, in my opinion, it should not, and it is something I will never get accustomed to. Other thing is when you are walking somewhere others will not move to let you pass. They will firmly stand their ground and make you walk around them, when most of the time it would be more efficient if they would just let you pass. Sometimes I feel that here in southern Italy you either must yell of cry for you to be heard, if you want something you have to show it firmly and stand by your choice, otherwise it will pass unnoticed.

This time apart has made me realize how proud I am to call Latvia my home and share its traditions, foods, history and culture with others. It has made me realize and reevaluate what is truly important to me. Now I see these long term volunteering projects not only as a way to contribute to a community but also as a great opportunity to get to know yourself better, because time apart makes you see things more clearly and gives you a place to grow. Even though at times it has been very difficult to integrate myself in this new society and get accustomed to the cultural norms I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. The people I have met from all over the world has made this experience so special, hearing their stories, sharing mine and in the end realizing that we want the same thing. Everyone wants to be accepted, understood and given a real chance to express themselves. In some way I have been feeling that Bari “is not a real place” and in some way is a simulation, because I have never experienced a place like this. These past months have been very high on emotion, and I know that going back and reintegrating in my life back home will be hard, just the thought of leaving my life here makes me sad because it has been such an interesting experience!